Everyone likes safety nets...a job, food, a place to live, money....things that make you feel secure in life. For me, the last few weeks, I've been rollin' along without much of anything earthly to make me feel secure. That has changed. Actually a lot has changed. I'm happy. I have two jobs, possibly a third job, today I turned down a fourth job offer. I don't mind working doing menial labor--grunt work--for low pay. But when I'm in a position where I can choose, I feel extra blessed. I have a place where I can stay until I find a apartment. A place which I feel was the best of all of the options. A place with family.
Like I said, a lot has changed. For the better of course. I think that through all of this, God has been teaching me a valuable lesson. I've had to rely upon Him in ways I never did before. But I am not the only one who has been affected.
This morning I was to meet the couple that had originally said I had a place at their home if I ever needed it. I was supposed to meet them at 11am for lunch. I was literally walking out the door to go there, when the phone rang. I hesitated, then decided to answer it quickly. The time was 10:55am. It was my step-grandfather. He said that he wanted to talk to me about something. What he said on the phone is confidential, but God had been working in his heart as well. He basically told me that I could stay with him and my grandmother for as long as I needed until I found a apartment. The phone call ended at 11:05am. Please, can you imagine what was going through my head right then?
Talk about God's timing. I am just overwhelmed about everything that has been happening. Time and time again, He has shown Himself to be faithful regardless of my tiny faith.
I will write more, but after my thoughts are a little more clear.
Showing posts with label Prayer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Prayer. Show all posts
Friday, October 31, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Five-Star Living
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
12:59am
Front Seat of Car, Random Parking Lot
So...I don't really know where to start. Um, I did something that normally would have been no big deal, but in my current situation, probably wasn't the smartest thing to do...
I parked my car in the driveway, and I was cold so I turned up the temperature a few degrees. Apparently I was supposed to know not to do this...yeh...anyway it's kinda hard for me to describe exactly what happened this morning without going into too much detail. The reason I don't want to go into that much detail is 'cuz I'm not the only one involved. But I do want to make something clear; I am here right now because I chose to be. I could be sleeping in a warm (or maybe cold, depending on who's running the temp) house, sleeping under a blanket on the floor; instead I'm shivering in my car, parked in some lot. (Lol, it's ok, I made sure it was a well lit parking lot)
For those of you who are wondering why any sane person would do this, I'm about to tell you...
God has blessed me with a sharp mind and a quick wit. Oh, and the willingness to share both with the world while shooting my mouth off. (Note to others: this has gotten me in trouble in the past. Note to self: repeat this line, "duct tape is good, it is beneficial to mankind") The last few months though, oh I have been the perfect model of patience and contrite humility. I say this laughing, 'cuz it hasn't been easy.
Um, I'm not going to tell ya'll everything I was hearing this morning, because to put it bluntly, I don't feel comfortable writing out the terms my step-grandfather used to express his feelings at the moment. (Don't worry. I didn't say anything back but, "I'm sorry" and, "yes sir". )
But there comes a point in everyone's life, when you have to make decisions. And this afternoon, I decided that there wasn't any reason for me to suffer the never-ending verbal abuse/humiliation/griping that I had been receiving simply for being there.
For those of you who want to know why I didn't say anything back, well the answer is simple.
Respect.
This is a classic case of where even if you don't respect the person, you respect the position. Another reason is the importance of strong (or at least in this case amiable) family relationships. I think that if I had said anything right then, with the way I was feeling inside, reconciliation would have been out of the question.
I do have a few points to make though... (now that I'm calm) ;-)
First, if the world is as hard and tough of a place as my step-grandfather has repeatedly (clarification: repeatedly=about every other sentence) told me every time he's upset about something, then I honestly don't think the world needs any help from him teaching me the definition or explaining that surprisingly new, refreshing and invigorating piece of knowledge.
Secondly, if he really believes what he's saying (and I think he does), shouldn't the home and family be the one place where the effect of the world's brutality doesn't reach? Sure I know that the earth isn't perfect, and that there are a lot of broken homes. But I can dismiss that line of reasoning easily with Romans 6:1,
"What shall we say then, shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?"
If anything, the home should be a place where love, peace, and encouragement abounds. Not a house of tension and petty griping.
(For all intents and purposes, living with my grandparents was my new home. In fact, it was originally my step-grandfather who said that he wanted me to come and live with them.)
As I close, (lol, five pages and it's sorta hard to write in the dark, and when your fingers are really cold) I can't help but think about what I've learned today. That is the whole purpose of this blog, you know. ;-)
Circumstances and people are fickle, (Oh wait, and add public opinion and the stock market to that list) so it's not a good idea to place your faith in something that changes by day. So for those of you who want to know the sure hand, I've got some news. There are things in this life you can count on (no it's not death and taxes in this case), for me, I've been discovering what I should have known all along. The surety of God's faithfulness to His children. To His family.
I know that ya'll will be reading this later, but if you would, please pray this out loud (I am right now) when you do read it.
"Dear God, first of all I just want to thank you for everything you've done in my life. I know that you have a purpose for me here, and I want to ask you for your grace to rejoice in my situation no matter the circumstances. Knowing that all that You do is for Your glory. Please keep me safe tonight, and also, I pray for everyone else out there, whatever their situation is, that needs Your protection as well. Thank you for bringing me this far, and Lord, please continue to change me. I know more that anyone else how much I need you.
I pray all this in the name of my Lord and Savior Christ Jesus,
Amen."
12:59am
Front Seat of Car, Random Parking Lot
So...I don't really know where to start. Um, I did something that normally would have been no big deal, but in my current situation, probably wasn't the smartest thing to do...
I parked my car in the driveway, and I was cold so I turned up the temperature a few degrees. Apparently I was supposed to know not to do this...yeh...anyway it's kinda hard for me to describe exactly what happened this morning without going into too much detail. The reason I don't want to go into that much detail is 'cuz I'm not the only one involved. But I do want to make something clear; I am here right now because I chose to be. I could be sleeping in a warm (or maybe cold, depending on who's running the temp) house, sleeping under a blanket on the floor; instead I'm shivering in my car, parked in some lot. (Lol, it's ok, I made sure it was a well lit parking lot)
For those of you who are wondering why any sane person would do this, I'm about to tell you...
God has blessed me with a sharp mind and a quick wit. Oh, and the willingness to share both with the world while shooting my mouth off. (Note to others: this has gotten me in trouble in the past. Note to self: repeat this line, "duct tape is good, it is beneficial to mankind") The last few months though, oh I have been the perfect model of patience and contrite humility. I say this laughing, 'cuz it hasn't been easy.
Um, I'm not going to tell ya'll everything I was hearing this morning, because to put it bluntly, I don't feel comfortable writing out the terms my step-grandfather used to express his feelings at the moment. (Don't worry. I didn't say anything back but, "I'm sorry" and, "yes sir". )
But there comes a point in everyone's life, when you have to make decisions. And this afternoon, I decided that there wasn't any reason for me to suffer the never-ending verbal abuse/humiliation/griping that I had been receiving simply for being there.
For those of you who want to know why I didn't say anything back, well the answer is simple.
Respect.
This is a classic case of where even if you don't respect the person, you respect the position. Another reason is the importance of strong (or at least in this case amiable) family relationships. I think that if I had said anything right then, with the way I was feeling inside, reconciliation would have been out of the question.
I do have a few points to make though... (now that I'm calm) ;-)
First, if the world is as hard and tough of a place as my step-grandfather has repeatedly (clarification: repeatedly=about every other sentence) told me every time he's upset about something, then I honestly don't think the world needs any help from him teaching me the definition or explaining that surprisingly new, refreshing and invigorating piece of knowledge.
Secondly, if he really believes what he's saying (and I think he does), shouldn't the home and family be the one place where the effect of the world's brutality doesn't reach? Sure I know that the earth isn't perfect, and that there are a lot of broken homes. But I can dismiss that line of reasoning easily with Romans 6:1,
"What shall we say then, shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?"
If anything, the home should be a place where love, peace, and encouragement abounds. Not a house of tension and petty griping.
(For all intents and purposes, living with my grandparents was my new home. In fact, it was originally my step-grandfather who said that he wanted me to come and live with them.)
As I close, (lol, five pages and it's sorta hard to write in the dark, and when your fingers are really cold) I can't help but think about what I've learned today. That is the whole purpose of this blog, you know. ;-)
Circumstances and people are fickle, (Oh wait, and add public opinion and the stock market to that list) so it's not a good idea to place your faith in something that changes by day. So for those of you who want to know the sure hand, I've got some news. There are things in this life you can count on (no it's not death and taxes in this case), for me, I've been discovering what I should have known all along. The surety of God's faithfulness to His children. To His family.
I know that ya'll will be reading this later, but if you would, please pray this out loud (I am right now) when you do read it.
"Dear God, first of all I just want to thank you for everything you've done in my life. I know that you have a purpose for me here, and I want to ask you for your grace to rejoice in my situation no matter the circumstances. Knowing that all that You do is for Your glory. Please keep me safe tonight, and also, I pray for everyone else out there, whatever their situation is, that needs Your protection as well. Thank you for bringing me this far, and Lord, please continue to change me. I know more that anyone else how much I need you.
I pray all this in the name of my Lord and Savior Christ Jesus,
Amen."
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
The Peace of God
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
2:43am
Floor of Bedroom, Twin Oaks
I am a little tired, (got off work at midnight, ran for a hour, ate, and showered. Lol, come on, I'm a teen-ager, I live for these types of hours!) but I have so much to say. (haha, somehow I always end up in this position.)
The last time I wrote was during a real low point in my life. Probably the lowest ever actually. The feeling of being there, yet not belonging, will stay will be forever. It made me re-affirm some of my life purposes' though, one of which is to be a friend to the friendless. The feeling of utter and absolute desolation is one no human being should ever have to experience on earth.
Fortunately, this story has a happy ending, but you already knew that didn't you? When I wrote last, I had one short-term living option, but no long-term availabilities. As of this writing, I now have had two families graciously offer to open their homes to me for a short while; and I also have two long term possibilities (please pray that I can find a room-mate).
Whoa, wait. Did I read that right? You mean I can actually pick and choose where I'm going to live? Lol, but seriously, is God good or what?
It's times like these, when all I can do is fall down on my knees, and thank God and praise Him for who He is. Not only that, but I've been changed through this. Permanently.
I used to be very reticent about being open and sharing my faith. But these days, it's like you've just gotten what you wished for Christmas, or learned an amazing new piece of news that you just have to share with everyone you meet. I've even been able to talk to my co-workers about what has happened to me, and the workplace was probably my biggest hurdle when it comes to sharing Christ.
I feel like I'm bouncing around from topic to topic (it's the caffeine and the time talking), but hopefully I made half-way sense. The journey isn't over, but I think the worst has pasted. Even if not though, because of what has happened, my faith (and hopefully yours) in His love, guidance, and never-ending protection has never been stronger.
Philippians 4:7
"And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
2:43am
Floor of Bedroom, Twin Oaks
I am a little tired, (got off work at midnight, ran for a hour, ate, and showered. Lol, come on, I'm a teen-ager, I live for these types of hours!) but I have so much to say. (haha, somehow I always end up in this position.)
The last time I wrote was during a real low point in my life. Probably the lowest ever actually. The feeling of being there, yet not belonging, will stay will be forever. It made me re-affirm some of my life purposes' though, one of which is to be a friend to the friendless. The feeling of utter and absolute desolation is one no human being should ever have to experience on earth.
Fortunately, this story has a happy ending, but you already knew that didn't you? When I wrote last, I had one short-term living option, but no long-term availabilities. As of this writing, I now have had two families graciously offer to open their homes to me for a short while; and I also have two long term possibilities (please pray that I can find a room-mate).
Whoa, wait. Did I read that right? You mean I can actually pick and choose where I'm going to live? Lol, but seriously, is God good or what?
It's times like these, when all I can do is fall down on my knees, and thank God and praise Him for who He is. Not only that, but I've been changed through this. Permanently.
I used to be very reticent about being open and sharing my faith. But these days, it's like you've just gotten what you wished for Christmas, or learned an amazing new piece of news that you just have to share with everyone you meet. I've even been able to talk to my co-workers about what has happened to me, and the workplace was probably my biggest hurdle when it comes to sharing Christ.
I feel like I'm bouncing around from topic to topic (it's the caffeine and the time talking), but hopefully I made half-way sense. The journey isn't over, but I think the worst has pasted. Even if not though, because of what has happened, my faith (and hopefully yours) in His love, guidance, and never-ending protection has never been stronger.
Philippians 4:7
"And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Sunday, October 19, 2008
For the Faith of a Two-Year-Old
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Approximately 9:45am
In the car on the way to church (late)
Last night was my final night to sleep in a bed for I don't know how long. I'm not upset, I have accepted the facts with the flexibility of youth. Facts that include: I have a new job, I have no money, I won't be paid for another week, and I don't know where I will be sleeping after Tuesday night. But there is one fact that you need to know above everything else; I am in this position because of one person's inability to change. I don't know what God is trying to teach me, but I am praying for His grace from above to be able to move on with a wonderful life, without becoming cynical and bitter.
On a lighter note, I must confess that I do not leave empty-handed. This morning, I didn't drive off until collecting as many toilet paper rolls as I could stuff into my bags. I am ashamed to admit it, but with the prospect of sleeping in my car for several weeks, the basic instinct for self-preservation must have kicked in. I assure you that this is completely out of character for me to commit a act of such dubious nature.
:UPDATE:
Same day, 2:01pm
Wandering on foot in the general vicinity of my new neighborhood Twin Oaks (my grandparents' new empty house)
Since this morning, God has provided amazingly! It brings to mind Matthew 6:26,
"Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?"
As many of you know, I have been volunteering with the two year olds at my church for the last three weeks. Today as I kept busy playing with the kids, the other two teachers, both moms, kept busy peppering me with questions ranging from: my reasons for moving up here, to girlfriends, to what type of floss I used (?). One of the more pertinent questions asked was where I was living currently. Once they heard about my situation (don't worry, I changed all the names to grant full anonymity to all parties), they immediately expressed deep sympathy and promises of free home-cooked southern meals. Which was all good except that I really needed was a place to stay, not necessarily fried chicken and okra, for all it's deep-south goodness.
But again, for all my skepticism, my God owns the cattle on a thousand hills, and of His abundance He gives richly to all those who ask. As I left my empty classroom, and begin the walk to my car, I was stopped in the hallway by one of the two moms that had so mercilessly interrogated me earlier that morning. She said that she knew that I didn't really know her, but that she had a younger brother my age, and that no one should have to sleep in their car. she gave me her number, and told me that even if for only one night, that she wanted me to call her, rather than spend a night with my seat back and my feet dangling on my dashboard.
Just this morning, when things looked bleak; I told myself to believe, to have faith. God has never let me down, and He will always be there for you.
To Him be the glory.
Approximately 9:45am
In the car on the way to church (late)
Last night was my final night to sleep in a bed for I don't know how long. I'm not upset, I have accepted the facts with the flexibility of youth. Facts that include: I have a new job, I have no money, I won't be paid for another week, and I don't know where I will be sleeping after Tuesday night. But there is one fact that you need to know above everything else; I am in this position because of one person's inability to change. I don't know what God is trying to teach me, but I am praying for His grace from above to be able to move on with a wonderful life, without becoming cynical and bitter.
On a lighter note, I must confess that I do not leave empty-handed. This morning, I didn't drive off until collecting as many toilet paper rolls as I could stuff into my bags. I am ashamed to admit it, but with the prospect of sleeping in my car for several weeks, the basic instinct for self-preservation must have kicked in. I assure you that this is completely out of character for me to commit a act of such dubious nature.
:UPDATE:
Same day, 2:01pm
Wandering on foot in the general vicinity of my new neighborhood Twin Oaks (my grandparents' new empty house)
Since this morning, God has provided amazingly! It brings to mind Matthew 6:26,
"Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?"
As many of you know, I have been volunteering with the two year olds at my church for the last three weeks. Today as I kept busy playing with the kids, the other two teachers, both moms, kept busy peppering me with questions ranging from: my reasons for moving up here, to girlfriends, to what type of floss I used (?). One of the more pertinent questions asked was where I was living currently. Once they heard about my situation (don't worry, I changed all the names to grant full anonymity to all parties), they immediately expressed deep sympathy and promises of free home-cooked southern meals. Which was all good except that I really needed was a place to stay, not necessarily fried chicken and okra, for all it's deep-south goodness.
But again, for all my skepticism, my God owns the cattle on a thousand hills, and of His abundance He gives richly to all those who ask. As I left my empty classroom, and begin the walk to my car, I was stopped in the hallway by one of the two moms that had so mercilessly interrogated me earlier that morning. She said that she knew that I didn't really know her, but that she had a younger brother my age, and that no one should have to sleep in their car. she gave me her number, and told me that even if for only one night, that she wanted me to call her, rather than spend a night with my seat back and my feet dangling on my dashboard.
Just this morning, when things looked bleak; I told myself to believe, to have faith. God has never let me down, and He will always be there for you.
To Him be the glory.
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