Five-Star Living

Wednesday, October 29, 2008
12:59am
Front Seat of Car, Random Parking Lot

So...I don't really know where to start. Um, I did something that normally would have been no big deal, but in my current situation, probably wasn't the smartest thing to do...
I parked my car in the driveway, and I was cold so I turned up the temperature a few degrees. Apparently I was supposed to know not to do this...yeh...anyway it's kinda hard for me to describe exactly what happened this morning without going into too much detail. The reason I don't want to go into that much detail is 'cuz I'm not the only one involved. But I do want to make something clear; I am here right now because I chose to be. I could be sleeping in a warm (or maybe cold, depending on who's running the temp) house, sleeping under a blanket on the floor; instead I'm shivering in my car, parked in some lot. (Lol, it's ok, I made sure it was a well lit parking lot)

For those of you who are wondering why any sane person would do this, I'm about to tell you...

God has blessed me with a sharp mind and a quick wit. Oh, and the willingness to share both with the world while shooting my mouth off. (Note to others: this has gotten me in trouble in the past. Note to self: repeat this line, "duct tape is good, it is beneficial to mankind") The last few months though, oh I have been the perfect model of patience and contrite humility. I say this laughing, 'cuz it hasn't been easy.

Um, I'm not going to tell ya'll everything I was hearing this morning, because to put it bluntly, I don't feel comfortable writing out the terms my step-grandfather used to express his feelings at the moment. (Don't worry. I didn't say anything back but, "I'm sorry" and, "yes sir". )

But there comes a point in everyone's life, when you have to make decisions. And this afternoon, I decided that there wasn't any reason for me to suffer the never-ending verbal abuse/humiliation/griping that I had been receiving simply for being there.

For those of you who want to know why I didn't say anything back, well the answer is simple.
Respect.
This is a classic case of where even if you don't respect the person, you respect the position. Another reason is the importance of strong (or at least in this case amiable) family relationships. I think that if I had said anything right then, with the way I was feeling inside, reconciliation would have been out of the question.

I do have a few points to make though... (now that I'm calm) ;-)

First, if the world is as hard and tough of a place as my step-grandfather has repeatedly (clarification: repeatedly=about every other sentence) told me every time he's upset about something, then I honestly don't think the world needs any help from him teaching me the definition or explaining that surprisingly new, refreshing and invigorating piece of knowledge.

Secondly, if he really believes what he's saying (and I think he does), shouldn't the home and family be the one place where the effect of the world's brutality doesn't reach? Sure I know that the earth isn't perfect, and that there are a lot of broken homes. But I can dismiss that line of reasoning easily with Romans 6:1,
"What shall we say then, shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?"
If anything, the home should be a place where love, peace, and encouragement abounds. Not a house of tension and petty griping.
(For all intents and purposes, living with my grandparents was my new home. In fact, it was originally my step-grandfather who said that he wanted me to come and live with them.)

As I close, (lol, five pages and it's sorta hard to write in the dark, and when your fingers are really cold) I can't help but think about what I've learned today. That is the whole purpose of this blog, you know. ;-)
Circumstances and people are fickle, (Oh wait, and add public opinion and the stock market to that list) so it's not a good idea to place your faith in something that changes by day. So for those of you who want to know the sure hand, I've got some news. There are things in this life you can count on (no it's not death and taxes in this case), for me, I've been discovering what I should have known all along. The surety of God's faithfulness to His children. To His family.

I know that ya'll will be reading this later, but if you would, please pray this out loud (I am right now) when you do read it.

"Dear God, first of all I just want to thank you for everything you've done in my life. I know that you have a purpose for me here, and I want to ask you for your grace to rejoice in my situation no matter the circumstances. Knowing that all that You do is for Your glory. Please keep me safe tonight, and also, I pray for everyone else out there, whatever their situation is, that needs Your protection as well. Thank you for bringing me this far, and Lord, please continue to change me. I know more that anyone else how much I need you.

I pray all this in the name of my Lord and Savior Christ Jesus,
Amen."