Me, the Bean, and the Cafe (a love story)

Thursday, October 23, 2008
10:55pm
Floor of Bedroom, Twin Oaks

Let me tell you about today...

It was my first day by myself in the cafe; I was pretty nervous to tell you the truth. As someone who likes to know exactly what they are doing, before doing it, the inadequate training I received for this job really didn't cut it. But oh well, I guess it wouldn't be as funny if I had been thoroughly trained.

I arrived at work at 7:45am (I was supposed to clock in at 8am, we open at 9am), I wanted to get there early, so as to have extra time to open, seeing as it was my first time to do it alone. It was cold and windy. The only person there was my store manager, so seeing as the doors were locked I stood there and knocked...for fifteen minutes. Either she didn't hear me (?), I mean, come on, I could see her inside, all nice and warm...or she was still upset (more on that later). Anyway I finally got in at 8am when another manager showed up and let me and himself in.

I started on my work and all was progressing nicely, when about 15min into it my nose started to bleed (?). I know, random, but this wasn't a minor nosebleed, this was a real gusher; massive hemorrhaging in my left nostril. So I did my best imitation of a one-armed man while trying to set up chairs/tables, grind coffee beans, and do the countless other tasks the people up high intended to be done by able-bodied individuals. I somehow still managed to finish on time, which gave me just about ten minutes to count my till until we opened.
Attention, do not try to count one dollar bills with one hand; this can lead to severe frustration and a general inability to think straight.

After finally getting that taken care of and having my nose thankfully stop bleeding, I got to my register with two minutes to spare (8:58am), only to find out that the store management had failed to give me a till number/id. At this point I was thinking, "It's just not my day."

Fast forward to one hour later, my breathing had just started to slow down when we got hit by the 10 o'clock rush...
Imagine, hordes of thirsty, wet (it was raining), angry (it was raining) old ladies armed with lethal-looking umbrellas descending down upon my solitaire register. Me, standing bravely, ok scratch that, cowering, shielding myself behind my tiny monitor as they assaulted me with demands for exotic drinks I thought only existed in movies and books.
Forget the quote about hell having no fury like a woman scorned. Whoever said that hadn't met this group of caffeine-deprived Valkyries. These ladies were born angry.

One bright note, a lady (unrelated to the above furies) gave me a two dollar tip for a $1.71 drink. She said I had a nice smile. *smiles*

I'll admit, I made a few mistakes. I gave one guys a white chocolate cappuccino, when what he wanted was a vanilla cappuccino. He didn't say anything though, so either he didn't notice the difference (unlikely), or he felt sorry for me after seeing the tattered remains of my flag after the army passed though (probable). Oh, and I tried to sell another customer a 20oz triple-shot espresso...let me just say that three shot glasses of espresso does not add up to 20oz...but I guess that's what you get with a hung-over partyer who could barely stand up, and a new cafe guy who doesn't really know the menu and doesn't know better to correct the orders made by said party-er, who I'm pretty sure made that order up...

As I walk away, I look back and reflect on what happened today. I'm thankful God has given me the ability to be able to find humor in almost every situation. I made it though today without bursting into tears, or throwing down my apron and walking out (not really a option actually). In conclusion, all I can say is to never ever, cross anyone before they have had their coffee in the morning. Caffeine-addictions do horrible things to otherwise reasonable people.

I hope that you and your loved ones understand the hidden dangers and risky implications of this terrible killer, and oh, do come by and visit me at work some time and sample some of coffee's amazing goodness. =)

Because of the bean.